The following is an excerpt from the real-life daily lesson book of a real-life English teacher in real-life Koreal. Korea.
Class: 7 year olds
Unit: Storybook
This class is a hardworking class of only boys who have interesting and lively dynamics like giving each other nicknames, picking on the shy kid, and drawing defecating dinosaurs on the board. Recently, I had the opportunity to learn a major cultural difference from them. Of a story where someONE was lost in translation. Someones. You'll see.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! A wonderful example of Western Children's Literature. Its rags-to-riches story and morality tale (did you know the Bad children and their parents mirror the seven deadly sins? Rewatch that movie sometime) have for generations been a good influence on children the world over. Augustus gets too greedy and goes for the chocolate river? Thanks for playing, sir, your parents can pick you up outside in the losers' room!
But wait.
In the Korean translation, Augustus isn't "going to be fine". The students were stunned in class, because they'd read the story in Korean. And when they told me He Is Die, I laughed and pointed to the passage where Wonka reassures his mother that death (however delicious his might've been) didn't await her son. It seems that THEIR version of the story replaces that passage with the implication that the price for greed is much steeper.
Sweet dreams, Korean children.
Class: 12 year-olds.
Unit: Family
Ah the ever-present My Family unit. Seems to be in every foreign language textbook in every language ever. Except the Canadian textbooks. They use Morris the Moose for that unit.
Ahem.
In other text-
WAIT
...Except the Canadian textbooks. They watch Mighty Ducks instead.
Ok I'm done now.
We discussed who our family members were, what jobs they did, how they looked, and what color eyes and hair they had (and believe me, appearance descriptions took a lot more vocabulary for me than it did for my students). But when I described my family, and said my mother was a lawyer, the classroom went silent with confusion.
"lawyer? really?"
Was this sexism? Did they really not believe a woman could be a lawyer. Time to set the record straight. I knew they were an old-fashioned culture and all-
"wow, oh, very rich!" Oh. I guess being a lawyer must just pay an excessive amount here. I mean, they do pretty well in America, but with a reaction-
"Teacher!"
One of my students got up and showed me her phone, where she had typed in the job name.
"Lawyer?!" The phone said: R-O-Y-A-L.
...Oh right.
(If it's still not clear, tonight at Taekwondo Soccer, the student who shot the winning goal yelled GOOOOOAAAAL! G! O! A! R!)
There are, in fact, very important reasons I've been imported to teach these children.
Class: 12-13 year-olds
Unit: adverbs of frequency
After discussing with the students how I usually prefer American ramen to Korean lamyun because American ramen comes in chicken, pork, beef, seafood, and asian flavors compared to Korean lamyun's pepper and pepperypepper flavors, I introduced them to the ramen I always like: chicken flavor. They complained that Korean babies sometimes eat a soup like that, but adults never do. Today in class, they brought me a lamyun that they said was sweet instead of spicy.
In retrospect, the fact that I was instructed by onlookers to only take a small bite should've clued me in.
Mmmmmm. Lit sparkler-magma and habanero flavor.
I ran for the fountain.
I let that student finish the bowl alone. And you can be quite certain that when he asked to go to the water fountain later in class and his salvation from the brimstone he'd consumed was up to me.....
he decided never to pull that trick again.
WARNING. THIS NEXT CASE FILE CONTAINS EXPLICITLY EXPLICIT LANGUAGE THAT WAS SO EXPLICIT, ENGLISH-SPEAKERS AND KOREAN-SPEAKERS COMBINED WERE UNABLE TO COMPREHEND ITS EXPLICITNESS. COVER THE EYES OF SMALL CHILDREN AND PETS.
Class: 6 year-olds
Unit: all
My students had often tossed around a term in class. Usually after playing with Pokemon cards or Beyblade tops, so I thought it nothing but a japanimation-phrase. Something the pokemon or tops hatch from, perhaps.
Fire Egg.
Offended?
Neither was I. I joked back with them. Ok, sure guys. Fire egg. Hey look, a fire egg! Could you toss me that fire egg? Careful, we don't want to have to call the fire department!
Later that week, a discussion with my fifteen year olds on crazy foods yielded a surprising result. Did you know that King Sejong of Korea was rumored to enjoy eating Rocky Mountain Oysters- of chicken?
And more importantly, did you know that the Korean slang term for that part of any animal is a Fire Egg?
I walked into the teachers' office stunned. I asked my co-teachers: have you heard them say this word?
No, they told me. What does it mean?
What an awkward thing to have to explain to my female co-workers. Wanting to be professional about it, I cut the slang and told them as clearly as I could.
"Its....well, I mean. . . What THEY're saying is...it's just the slang term, I think....its...itmeanstesticles."
"Oh."
Relief. Now they can deal with the students about it, because I'm sure that'd work better in Kor-
"What is testicles?"
Well, when a man and woman hate each other very much and the woman wants to cause the man substatial discomfort while making him cry like a baby, where does she aim her best front snap kick?
Oh.
On a completely related note (related to snapkicks), My Taekwondo teacher is teaching us a routine. It's a dance and taekwondo number (hereafter referred to as TaekwonDance) that's actually more aerobics than dance. To the South Africa World Cup cheer song. I was taken completely by surprise with this one, and I never would've expected anything like it. I hope you share my astonishment. The implications of this dance-music are nothing short of mind-blowing:
It means there's someone out there who actually pays attention to soccer.
Tune in next time for a special Collector's Edition 14 Hours and a World. Supplies will be limited, so get yours first!
Marvel always,
Jeff-Teacher
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Jeff M. Davis has the Most Important Job in the World
Teaching!
Aw that's cute.
But seriously. I've been promoted.
I am now.....
Santa's Speechwriter.
You heard it here first, unless you saw the wikileaks about it. And if you did, disregard the one about his beard being fake. He's the real thing, and he's coming to CNN Language Academy! For some reason (I'm assuming it's my speech background) I've been chosen to write the introductions and greetings for the symbol of Americanism in the Wintertime. I am, of course, assuming I was chosen because I was better qualified, and not because of where I'm from.
Because that's racist. And 14hoursandaworld does not support racism.
But the pressure! Can you imagine?
Rooms stuffed to the brim with tinsel, christmas trees, advent calendars, and construction paper reindeer peeling off the walls from run-ins with soccer balls. Classrooms that look like they were hit with Polarbear Coca Cola commercials full of gluesticks and glitter wait expectantly for a man they've only heard stories
nay
Legends about. A man of whose existence they're skeptical.
They want to believe. Can it be true? A fat white guy with a beard gives stuff to the whole world for free, with an archaic delivery service? That's a poor business model for a number of reasons my three-year-olds could diagram on the board.
When he arrives, he'll introduce himself and his present procedure to all the awestruck and wide-eyed boys and girls. And though out on the lawn, Korea is having a brown Christmas, all through the house they will come to the conclusion that so many little American children came to before:
Santa. Is. Real.
And he is the best thing EVER.
Stories of the week!
As you all know, if your lives center around me (as I'm sure they do), this week I officially hit the age where one is not likeable, (182, Blink). Having a birthday the week of Christmas has its disadvantages, as this weekend will be dedicated to christmas celebration, so I was expecting a low-key birthday. When out of left field, an army of awesome people spoke out and said Forbid It! Your birthday will rock!
My kindergarten co-teachers informed the children, who greeted me with a chorus of Happy Birthday and a book of cards they had made (some with STUNNING art skills for five year olds). My other coworkers surprised me with a small gift of cash and something delicious.
Aw that's cute.
But seriously. I've been promoted.
I am now.....
Santa's Speechwriter.
You heard it here first, unless you saw the wikileaks about it. And if you did, disregard the one about his beard being fake. He's the real thing, and he's coming to CNN Language Academy! For some reason (I'm assuming it's my speech background) I've been chosen to write the introductions and greetings for the symbol of Americanism in the Wintertime. I am, of course, assuming I was chosen because I was better qualified, and not because of where I'm from.
Because that's racist. And 14hoursandaworld does not support racism.
But the pressure! Can you imagine?
Rooms stuffed to the brim with tinsel, christmas trees, advent calendars, and construction paper reindeer peeling off the walls from run-ins with soccer balls. Classrooms that look like they were hit with Polarbear Coca Cola commercials full of gluesticks and glitter wait expectantly for a man they've only heard stories
nay
Legends about. A man of whose existence they're skeptical.
They want to believe. Can it be true? A fat white guy with a beard gives stuff to the whole world for free, with an archaic delivery service? That's a poor business model for a number of reasons my three-year-olds could diagram on the board.
When he arrives, he'll introduce himself and his present procedure to all the awestruck and wide-eyed boys and girls. And though out on the lawn, Korea is having a brown Christmas, all through the house they will come to the conclusion that so many little American children came to before:
Santa. Is. Real.
And he is the best thing EVER.
Stories of the week!
As you all know, if your lives center around me (as I'm sure they do), this week I officially hit the age where one is not likeable, (182, Blink). Having a birthday the week of Christmas has its disadvantages, as this weekend will be dedicated to christmas celebration, so I was expecting a low-key birthday. When out of left field, an army of awesome people spoke out and said Forbid It! Your birthday will rock!
My kindergarten co-teachers informed the children, who greeted me with a chorus of Happy Birthday and a book of cards they had made (some with STUNNING art skills for five year olds). My other coworkers surprised me with a small gift of cash and something delicious.
It is not a lie.
Also, though I didn't check the mail for them soon enough, I recieved THREE packages of presents from the states. And I'd like to thank everyone from home who has equipped me to survive, thrive, travel, and have great snacks while I play video games. Also (and I'm totally gonna attribute this to my birthday) The South Korean army AGAIN held live-fire drills on Yeonpyeong island, after the North told them that such actions would awaken a much more powerful Northern retaliation. The North uncovered their coastal guns and rolled them into place as the South set up for its training. The training began. The South shot off every round they had not fired in the truncated drills last time on Yeonpyeong. The North backed down. Happy birthday to me, commies.
I'm also enrolled in a language exchange now. Expect pictures of the place soon. It's a wonderful little coffee shop designed specifically for English, Chinese, and Korean speakers to be able to have a place to teach each other their languages free of charge. They have game nights, ski trips, holiday parties, the works. The program director suggests I watch korean dramas repeatedly to learn the language. He learned most of his English from watching friends. And suddenly his gelled-up hairdo made much more sense.
One more, then I'll let you go, for real this time. I did a Lifeboat Game with my conversation class, where they are given six people of different backgrounds and skillsets on a sinking ship with a lifeboat that can hold two. Among them were a russian sailor, a japanese computer programmer, an american congressman, a happily married scientist, and a husband and pregnant wife. After a long debate, they saved the sailor (because someone had to get the lifeboat to shore. very practical of them) and the pregnant wife. It's worth noting that she was 23 and her husband was almost sixty. They said the young sailor man and the mother-to-be would fall in love and get married and have many more children, and forget about the husband who went down with the ship. I think they'd been watching too many dramas. The one thing they did agree on unanimously? The fate of that poor, poor Japanese programmer.
And this is not related, but you can eat pokemon for snacks. The ghastly snack has a chocolate cream center surrounded by cakey chocolate, all in a circle. I thought it was awesome. But I'm probably biased from a childhood spent engrossed in Pokemon Red for gameboy. I guess you could say my evaluation of this snack. . .
(Puts on sunglasses)
It's Super-Subjective!
YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAH
Counting down til Christmas
Jeff-Teacher
Monday, December 13, 2010
Bite off more than you can chew. THEN CHEW IT.
I had lost my wallet.
I got my old wallet and BOUGHT CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
I lost my health.
I went to Taekwondo and ROUNDHOUSE KICKED MY ILLNESS.
I lost my computer.
My wonderful parents bought me a late graduation present with a FINGERPRINT SCAN PASSWORD.
Everytime I unlock my computer, I can hear it saying "Welcome back, Mr. Bond. Would you like to resume being awesome where you left off?"
As a wise internet once said, "Life getting tough means the gods fear your progress."
And whatever gods reign in Korea must've feared my progress quite a bit. But you see, all they had were misfortunes, and the hope that when all those misfortunes were expended, I'd no longer be standing on Korean soil.
It's great to be here tonight, folks.
On this wednesday, the entire nation is to perform an air-raid drill, with underground bomb shelters and an airforce simulation of a DPRK airstrike. Life in a bomb bunker. Remember my WWI references earlier? I have a feeling they're about to get trumped.
In the case of an actual breakout of war here, some of the teachers have packed emergency bags. I tried to compile a list of what I would need. I might've been playing Playstation while I did it.
1. Warm, durable clothes
2. Dried food
3. Boots
4. Waterproof mats/space blankets
5. A self-defense weapon like a baton
6. A flashlight
7. A large overcoat, with a brightly colored side to signal for help.
8. A self-defense weapon like a knife
9. An assortment of money, non-korean (Dollars, yuan, pounds sterling, gil, yen, euros etc.)
10. A first-aid kit with an assortment of bandages and recovery items
11. A self defense weapon like a sword made out of guns and fire
12. Socks
I should be pretty well taken care of with that. I think I could find around four others to travel with me, to make it South and book passage on a ship to Japan. Although at some point we'll just get our own ship and can travel anywhere in the world, so I'm kinda looking for ward to that too.
And as is always the case with this country, tensions escalate, politicians brawl in the legislature (gavels and chairs thrown, physical takeovers, ambulances called etc) and yet.....life goes on.
In one of my classes the other day, two out of four students were gone because their middle school exams were the next week and they had to begin studying. The other two students were falling asleep. When I told them they couldnt sleep in my class, they informed me that they'd been up until four in the morning studying, before getting up at seven to head in to school. Then they fell asleep, leaving me and my conscience alone in the room. The following internal dialogue ensued.
Me: Wow, this is really not cool. I have to wake them up or I'll get in trouble for having no control.
Conscience: Were you not listening to the conversation you just had? three hours of sleep. hana, dul, set.
Me: OH MY GOD........YOU CAN TALK!
Conscience: Yeah, I kinda bailed on you after the jello incident freshman year
Me: Right, right, good times. Yeah those nuns totally deserved it.
Conscience: Let's not talk about it.
Me: ok, time to wake them up.
Conscience: You do realize that it's not just about you, right? they have homework from their actual school too. Then after they finish your school at ten o'clock, they go to another hagwon til one in the morning. Then they start their homework. Then it's up for another day of it for school. Plus every other saturday.
Me: yeah, but if I don't do it, their parents will find a teacher who will. As will my boss. That second one may concern me more.
Conscience: yeah, that's the problem. It's just so competitive here that no one's really the bad guy. Teachers just need teaching jobs. Hagwon owners are just trying to deliver quality education in a market that's buying as much of it as people will sell. Parents know that if they don't keep their kids in school as late as their classmates, their students lives will suffer later. It seems like the only way to fix this is with a law banning any facility teaching out of a textbook after, say three o'clock in the....Are you even listening?
Me; I've got it! Let's wake them up. Who wants to play Uno?
And play uno we did, in english. With the sentence structures required of that days lesson (I have one blue two. I have number adjective noun). Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing. But every now and then there's an obvious right answer.
So remember ages ago when I promised Light-bridge pictures? Don't say I never did nothin for ya.
Also, here I am eating at a korean version of a sushi restaurant.
With my coworkers
I'll leave you with the iconic Dongdaemun gate, one of the ancient entrances to Seoul, spotted while christmas shopping in the city. For another nine months--this is my world.
Back in business, and ain't it grand?
Jeff-Teacher
I got my old wallet and BOUGHT CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
I lost my health.
I went to Taekwondo and ROUNDHOUSE KICKED MY ILLNESS.
I lost my computer.
My wonderful parents bought me a late graduation present with a FINGERPRINT SCAN PASSWORD.
Everytime I unlock my computer, I can hear it saying "Welcome back, Mr. Bond. Would you like to resume being awesome where you left off?"
As a wise internet once said, "Life getting tough means the gods fear your progress."
And whatever gods reign in Korea must've feared my progress quite a bit. But you see, all they had were misfortunes, and the hope that when all those misfortunes were expended, I'd no longer be standing on Korean soil.
It's great to be here tonight, folks.
On this wednesday, the entire nation is to perform an air-raid drill, with underground bomb shelters and an airforce simulation of a DPRK airstrike. Life in a bomb bunker. Remember my WWI references earlier? I have a feeling they're about to get trumped.
In the case of an actual breakout of war here, some of the teachers have packed emergency bags. I tried to compile a list of what I would need. I might've been playing Playstation while I did it.
1. Warm, durable clothes
2. Dried food
3. Boots
4. Waterproof mats/space blankets
5. A self-defense weapon like a baton
6. A flashlight
7. A large overcoat, with a brightly colored side to signal for help.
8. A self-defense weapon like a knife
9. An assortment of money, non-korean (Dollars, yuan, pounds sterling, gil, yen, euros etc.)
10. A first-aid kit with an assortment of bandages and recovery items
11. A self defense weapon like a sword made out of guns and fire
12. Socks
I should be pretty well taken care of with that. I think I could find around four others to travel with me, to make it South and book passage on a ship to Japan. Although at some point we'll just get our own ship and can travel anywhere in the world, so I'm kinda looking for ward to that too.
And as is always the case with this country, tensions escalate, politicians brawl in the legislature (gavels and chairs thrown, physical takeovers, ambulances called etc) and yet.....life goes on.
In one of my classes the other day, two out of four students were gone because their middle school exams were the next week and they had to begin studying. The other two students were falling asleep. When I told them they couldnt sleep in my class, they informed me that they'd been up until four in the morning studying, before getting up at seven to head in to school. Then they fell asleep, leaving me and my conscience alone in the room. The following internal dialogue ensued.
Me: Wow, this is really not cool. I have to wake them up or I'll get in trouble for having no control.
Conscience: Were you not listening to the conversation you just had? three hours of sleep. hana, dul, set.
Me: OH MY GOD........YOU CAN TALK!
Conscience: Yeah, I kinda bailed on you after the jello incident freshman year
Me: Right, right, good times. Yeah those nuns totally deserved it.
Conscience: Let's not talk about it.
Me: ok, time to wake them up.
Conscience: You do realize that it's not just about you, right? they have homework from their actual school too. Then after they finish your school at ten o'clock, they go to another hagwon til one in the morning. Then they start their homework. Then it's up for another day of it for school. Plus every other saturday.
Me: yeah, but if I don't do it, their parents will find a teacher who will. As will my boss. That second one may concern me more.
Conscience: yeah, that's the problem. It's just so competitive here that no one's really the bad guy. Teachers just need teaching jobs. Hagwon owners are just trying to deliver quality education in a market that's buying as much of it as people will sell. Parents know that if they don't keep their kids in school as late as their classmates, their students lives will suffer later. It seems like the only way to fix this is with a law banning any facility teaching out of a textbook after, say three o'clock in the....Are you even listening?
Me; I've got it! Let's wake them up. Who wants to play Uno?
And play uno we did, in english. With the sentence structures required of that days lesson (I have one blue two. I have number adjective noun). Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing. But every now and then there's an obvious right answer.
So remember ages ago when I promised Light-bridge pictures? Don't say I never did nothin for ya.
Back in business, and ain't it grand?
Jeff-Teacher
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Technical difficulties
Dear fans, avid readers, friends, family, and those who stumble across my blog on google,
I apologize for the interruption to 14hoursandaworld. Technical difficulties and illness have made posting these past few weeks impossible, out of reach, or annoyingly inconvenient. My computer and health are terribly out of order at the moment (my health temporarily, my computer terminally) (I hope). Both should be back online within the next week pending emergency UN aid drops to my apartment. Until then, I am truly sorry for the delay. You may return next week for your regularly scheduled doses of humor, pictures, insightful cultural commentary, borderline offensive cultural commentary, and geography.
The weather forecast for right now is fifty degrees and foggy with intermittent rain. What an odd December...
19 days til my birthday
23 days til Christmas
29 days til New Year's
749 days til the end of the world (according to the mistranslated mayans!)
See you soon,
Jeff-Teacher
I apologize for the interruption to 14hoursandaworld. Technical difficulties and illness have made posting these past few weeks impossible, out of reach, or annoyingly inconvenient. My computer and health are terribly out of order at the moment (my health temporarily, my computer terminally) (I hope). Both should be back online within the next week pending emergency UN aid drops to my apartment. Until then, I am truly sorry for the delay. You may return next week for your regularly scheduled doses of humor, pictures, insightful cultural commentary, borderline offensive cultural commentary, and geography.
The weather forecast for right now is fifty degrees and foggy with intermittent rain. What an odd December...
19 days til my birthday
23 days til Christmas
29 days til New Year's
749 days til the end of the world (according to the mistranslated mayans!)
See you soon,
Jeff-Teacher
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Shells
For those who are unaware of Korean relations over the past year, I'll give a quick catchup before hitting today's news. In late spring/early summer of this year, North Korea fired on and sunk a South Korean ship. In late summer, North Korean artillery fired shots into the water between the two countries. Today, however, things changed again.
At around 2:30 p.m. today, North Korean artillery began bombarding Yeonpyeong island, a populated island off the Western coast of South Korea. Many homes were destroyed in the attack, but injuries have only been speculated, among civilians. One South Korean soldier was killed and four were injured. The sourth returned fire and scrambled fighter jets to the island, and the US responded by dispatching F22s to the area.
That was about three hours ago.
Thirty minutes ago, the North picked up the bombardment again, in the same area, and I'm told over 200 artillery shells have hit Southern soil. I don't yet know the results of this attack, but I want everyone at home to know I'm fine. The island IS relatively close to Incheon, but not close enough that I heard the artillery. The North's guns may be quiet again now, but I can't tell you if they are, or if they'll stay that way.
The North's spokesman declared the barrage as a reply to South Korean troops training in that area.
This map shows the location of Yeonpyeong with Incheon being the highlighted area of the Mainland and Incheon airport marked with the jet icon.
Coteachers gravely informed me of the emergency, asking if I was scared. Then their serious faces cracked and they asked if I wanted to run away (-The only direction someone in south korea could "run" to escape the country is North.) It was a joke. Students asked me if I'd heard of the emergency, their faces shining, each wanting to be the first messenger of the misfortune...and then they returned to their computer games.
Surreal, to an American, to imagine shells falling on your homeland, homes on your sovereign soil burning from an enemy military's attack, and children still in school in the city nearest the barrage. Imagine joking about it at work, while you continue business as usual. There's no backlash or anger here. The lack of general fear might serve to put a wary foreigner at ease. And calm reason does tend to help in crisis situations.
But gallows humor?
Excitement?
Where in the hell am I?
It's life as I've never seen it- living in America, it's easy to assume conflict is something that happens within a small village in MiddleEast-istan, or a tribal war in Africa. Either way, neither is much of a threat to the actual safety of Americans going about their lives.
Here, conflict is real. It doesn't creep around in whispered words in foreign neighborhoods, it knocks at the front door with coastal shells. Even as I write this, I wonder if I should feel foolish-
If everyone else is calm, am I worrying for nothing?
Is this only an American's inability to deal with the reality of conflict?
Or is this shell of Korean bravado just a way of dealing with the fact that their elephant in the room is crazy and armed?
Erich Maria Remarque said (of being on the recieving end of artillery) "...we are in a good humor, because otherwise we should all go to pieces."
The response of adopting a holiday mood is, thus, the only one that makes sense. If there is danger, or if there isn't, no one benefits from being panicked. Shells (or worse) may fall on South Korea, but this country understands a reality that Americans (myself included) have yet to fully grasp-
If children begin their martial training at 3 years old
If ALL men of the country must serve in the military
If clear and present danger is understood to be a ridiculous concept (since you always border such danger)
-Then maybe that country won't suffer from the violent inability to handle violence that plagues Americans. I would remind you here that many in the US on September 12, 2001 (the only time in my lifetime where I've seen an enemy attack MY home soil) were crying out to the government to make the middle east a sea of glass.
I've wondered before at this toughened, militarized way of life.
I've seen how it manifests in everyday life. I've seen the people that live it. I've seen what they do.
Thanks for joining me in finding out why.
In a recent update, pressure has been increasing on China to reject North Korea's proposed Nuclear Delivery Device, as China is currently the only country with the manufacturing capacity to deliver on the 1.5 million rubber bands required to power the 2-acre slingshot.
See? I can do it too. I'll be developing weapons-grade wit tonight when I'm done with Taekwondo.
Til next time, I'll keep you updated
Jeff
At around 2:30 p.m. today, North Korean artillery began bombarding Yeonpyeong island, a populated island off the Western coast of South Korea. Many homes were destroyed in the attack, but injuries have only been speculated, among civilians. One South Korean soldier was killed and four were injured. The sourth returned fire and scrambled fighter jets to the island, and the US responded by dispatching F22s to the area.
That was about three hours ago.
Thirty minutes ago, the North picked up the bombardment again, in the same area, and I'm told over 200 artillery shells have hit Southern soil. I don't yet know the results of this attack, but I want everyone at home to know I'm fine. The island IS relatively close to Incheon, but not close enough that I heard the artillery. The North's guns may be quiet again now, but I can't tell you if they are, or if they'll stay that way.
The North's spokesman declared the barrage as a reply to South Korean troops training in that area.
This map shows the location of Yeonpyeong with Incheon being the highlighted area of the Mainland and Incheon airport marked with the jet icon.
Coteachers gravely informed me of the emergency, asking if I was scared. Then their serious faces cracked and they asked if I wanted to run away (-The only direction someone in south korea could "run" to escape the country is North.) It was a joke. Students asked me if I'd heard of the emergency, their faces shining, each wanting to be the first messenger of the misfortune...and then they returned to their computer games.
Surreal, to an American, to imagine shells falling on your homeland, homes on your sovereign soil burning from an enemy military's attack, and children still in school in the city nearest the barrage. Imagine joking about it at work, while you continue business as usual. There's no backlash or anger here. The lack of general fear might serve to put a wary foreigner at ease. And calm reason does tend to help in crisis situations.
But gallows humor?
Excitement?
Where in the hell am I?
It's life as I've never seen it- living in America, it's easy to assume conflict is something that happens within a small village in MiddleEast-istan, or a tribal war in Africa. Either way, neither is much of a threat to the actual safety of Americans going about their lives.
Here, conflict is real. It doesn't creep around in whispered words in foreign neighborhoods, it knocks at the front door with coastal shells. Even as I write this, I wonder if I should feel foolish-
If everyone else is calm, am I worrying for nothing?
Is this only an American's inability to deal with the reality of conflict?
Or is this shell of Korean bravado just a way of dealing with the fact that their elephant in the room is crazy and armed?
Erich Maria Remarque said (of being on the recieving end of artillery) "...we are in a good humor, because otherwise we should all go to pieces."
The response of adopting a holiday mood is, thus, the only one that makes sense. If there is danger, or if there isn't, no one benefits from being panicked. Shells (or worse) may fall on South Korea, but this country understands a reality that Americans (myself included) have yet to fully grasp-
If children begin their martial training at 3 years old
If ALL men of the country must serve in the military
If clear and present danger is understood to be a ridiculous concept (since you always border such danger)
-Then maybe that country won't suffer from the violent inability to handle violence that plagues Americans. I would remind you here that many in the US on September 12, 2001 (the only time in my lifetime where I've seen an enemy attack MY home soil) were crying out to the government to make the middle east a sea of glass.
I've wondered before at this toughened, militarized way of life.
I've seen how it manifests in everyday life. I've seen the people that live it. I've seen what they do.
Thanks for joining me in finding out why.
In a recent update, pressure has been increasing on China to reject North Korea's proposed Nuclear Delivery Device, as China is currently the only country with the manufacturing capacity to deliver on the 1.5 million rubber bands required to power the 2-acre slingshot.
See? I can do it too. I'll be developing weapons-grade wit tonight when I'm done with Taekwondo.
Til next time, I'll keep you updated
Jeff
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Jeff M. Davis vs. Scott Pilgrim vs The World
There are times I have to sit and wonder at the fact that I live in a place old enough to have tales of swordsmen wandering the land. Of kings and empresses, of dynasties and palaces that rose in splendor and fell to ruin. A place so old it has its own mythology. There are times I have to marvel at the fact that I live in a world that much of our video-game driven culture wishes it could glimpse.
If you've ever felt that way,
If you've ever felt that way,
This is for you.
Korea Fantasy VII: The Legend of Jeff-Teacher
Name: JEFFM
Old Woman: Oh that’s right, your name is JEFFM.
Old Man: Oh, those monsters sent by evil emperor KIM are outside, again.
Old Woman: Maybe JEFFM will be the one to save us from them. He certainly did appear on the beach in a storm like the Choson One was prophesied to do.
Old Man: Of course, but we can’t send him out empty handed. Help yourself to our wares!
You got the Travel Bag! You can now carry more items!
Old Man: Off you go, stop by if you ever need a rest from your travels, JEFFM!
A wild CHICKENHOF appeared!
CHICKENHOF was defeated!
CHICKENHOF: AAAAAAARRRRGH! But you're going to need more than that to beat COWBOY ANDY! Hahahahahaha!
>This way to Bupyeong Subway
SUBWAY ENGINEER CID: Hiyaaa, where ya goin?
Arriving at Incheon- Arts Center district
LOTTE GUARD: Who goes there? No one enters LOTTE without a CARD KEY! Do you have a CARD KEY?
Player's Guide Tip: LOTTE can't be accessed at some times on certain days until you obtain the CARD KEY. Until then, try one of the smaller adjacent stores to rest and replenish!
Level Up! JEFFM is now level 23 (in Korean)! JEFFM learned "Taekwondo- Speed"! JEFFM learned "Stop playing now before the soldiers play and embarass me"!
...You can't actually do that in real life.
COWBOY ANDY: Well howdy there, pardner! Did the Bears win the series this year?
Victory!
That's enough playing for now. I gotta stop wasting time on this game and actually DO something with my life today. I wish the real world was this exciting...
Monday, November 8, 2010
15 Hours and a World?
Time changed.
Not for me, but it did. That got me wondering- why does time change in the US, but not here?
Americans sure like our change, huh? Adaptation, progress, change. You see it in every aspect of what we do.
That daylight savings is so six months ago. Time to change.
You bought that car two years ago? Time to change.
You finished college and still live with your parents? Time to change.
The politicians you elected last time haven't saved the world? Time for Change.
Faster, shinier, newer, younger. That building is from thirty years ago-- tear it down for something more up-to-date.
And then there's Korea. Yes, a land of technology and innovation. Yes, a land that has seen unbelievable economic turnaround in the past century. But change isn't the assumption here.
Architectural designs from the 1600s persist today. Traditional martial arts are untainted by the MMA craze. Bloodletting is still proscribed as a cure for stomachache.
Why do I tell you all this now?
It's a good thing you asked. I was really getting into that monologue.
I had a class today with my discussion class where we talked about age. These students are 12-15 years old. Please keep that in mind.
Jeff: What age does someone have to be, in order to be Old?
Students: 60.
Jeff: 50 isn't old?
Students: 50 is young.
Jeff: So your parents (They had previously told me their parents were in their forties and fifties) are young?
Students: Yes.
Jeff: Do your parents think like you?
Students: (Almost unanimously) Yes.
Jeff: Did you know Americans can drive at fourteen? what do you think of that?
Students: That's dangerous. They should have to be older.
...Would you EVER get these answers from American fourteen year olds? How many preteens would tell you their parents aren't old? I can easily picture a classroom full of American high schoolers sitting and calmly informing me they see eye-to-eye with their parents on most issues. And that their parents are young. And that they aren't mature enough to drive. And that video games are bad. And that they would like to have less money. And that Abercrombie and Fitch isn't THE coolest thing ever.
We went on to talk about politics.
Jeff: Do you think you could do a good job being president?
Students: No. We are not old enough.
Jeff: Why is that important?
Students: We don't have experience.
Jeff: How old should a president have to be?
Students: Fifty.
(Readers should note at this point that President Barack Obama is 49 years old-- Twenty years the junior of Korea's President Myeong-Bak Lee. When I informed them that Obama's opponent was around 70 at election time and called too old, they were flabbergasted)
(Flabbergasted is a ludicrously fun word)
(Flabbergasted. hah. Ahem)
Marriage
Jeff: What age do you think people should get married?
Students: 28-29
Jeff: Why then?
Students: By that age, you can be finished with college and have a job, a house, and a car. But not a cheap Daewoo. GM owns them now.
Jeff: Many people I know get married around 22-23. As soon as they finish college.
Students: (shocked gasps) So young?!
Dear America,
You are good at many things. But how many of our sixteen year olds have the maturity to admit that they don't have the maturity to lead a nation? How many sixteen year olds would say such concerns as financial stability and a home and a BMW should determine the time for marriage, rather than Love? This culture is obviously not perfect, but I was very impressed with what I saw today
Also, I can Kip-up and Back-Handspring now. How cool is that? Today I trained in punching speed by attempting to put out a candle flame without touching it- simply with the speed of my punch.
...When I get a training montage (which I will HAVE to at some point this year, before my testing and tournament), it will without question include punching out the fire.
Tune in next week for a photo essay of the light-bridges of Mansu-yuk-dong!
Til then,
Jeff-Teacher
Not for me, but it did. That got me wondering- why does time change in the US, but not here?
Americans sure like our change, huh? Adaptation, progress, change. You see it in every aspect of what we do.
That daylight savings is so six months ago. Time to change.
You bought that car two years ago? Time to change.
You finished college and still live with your parents? Time to change.
The politicians you elected last time haven't saved the world? Time for Change.
Faster, shinier, newer, younger. That building is from thirty years ago-- tear it down for something more up-to-date.
And then there's Korea. Yes, a land of technology and innovation. Yes, a land that has seen unbelievable economic turnaround in the past century. But change isn't the assumption here.
Architectural designs from the 1600s persist today. Traditional martial arts are untainted by the MMA craze. Bloodletting is still proscribed as a cure for stomachache.
Why do I tell you all this now?
It's a good thing you asked. I was really getting into that monologue.
I had a class today with my discussion class where we talked about age. These students are 12-15 years old. Please keep that in mind.
Jeff: What age does someone have to be, in order to be Old?
Students: 60.
Jeff: 50 isn't old?
Students: 50 is young.
Jeff: So your parents (They had previously told me their parents were in their forties and fifties) are young?
Students: Yes.
Jeff: Do your parents think like you?
Students: (Almost unanimously) Yes.
Jeff: Did you know Americans can drive at fourteen? what do you think of that?
Students: That's dangerous. They should have to be older.
...Would you EVER get these answers from American fourteen year olds? How many preteens would tell you their parents aren't old? I can easily picture a classroom full of American high schoolers sitting and calmly informing me they see eye-to-eye with their parents on most issues. And that their parents are young. And that they aren't mature enough to drive. And that video games are bad. And that they would like to have less money. And that Abercrombie and Fitch isn't THE coolest thing ever.
We went on to talk about politics.
Jeff: Do you think you could do a good job being president?
Students: No. We are not old enough.
Jeff: Why is that important?
Students: We don't have experience.
Jeff: How old should a president have to be?
Students: Fifty.
(Readers should note at this point that President Barack Obama is 49 years old-- Twenty years the junior of Korea's President Myeong-Bak Lee. When I informed them that Obama's opponent was around 70 at election time and called too old, they were flabbergasted)
(Flabbergasted is a ludicrously fun word)
(Flabbergasted. hah. Ahem)
Marriage
Jeff: What age do you think people should get married?
Students: 28-29
Jeff: Why then?
Students: By that age, you can be finished with college and have a job, a house, and a car. But not a cheap Daewoo. GM owns them now.
Jeff: Many people I know get married around 22-23. As soon as they finish college.
Students: (shocked gasps) So young?!
Dear America,
You are good at many things. But how many of our sixteen year olds have the maturity to admit that they don't have the maturity to lead a nation? How many sixteen year olds would say such concerns as financial stability and a home and a BMW should determine the time for marriage, rather than Love? This culture is obviously not perfect, but I was very impressed with what I saw today
Also, I can Kip-up and Back-Handspring now. How cool is that? Today I trained in punching speed by attempting to put out a candle flame without touching it- simply with the speed of my punch.
...When I get a training montage (which I will HAVE to at some point this year, before my testing and tournament), it will without question include punching out the fire.
Tune in next week for a photo essay of the light-bridges of Mansu-yuk-dong!
Til then,
Jeff-Teacher
Monday, November 1, 2010
Happy Halloween from Korea!
So the past few weeks I've told you ALL about this place without telling you much about...this place. For an example of what I mean, think of your best friend. how do you describe him or her? Is he tall with blonde hair? Does she have long hair and blue eyes? Is he the guy in the red shirt? ( or "was he the guy in the red shirt?" if you're a star trek fan). Did she have the long, overly elaborate name that either means she lived in the 1460s or her parents don't get out much? We forget how much of even our basic ways of describing who we're talking about are based on coming from an individualistic society.
Korea is not exactly as diverse as America. It's hard to explain what it's like to walk down the streets of a major city and see only one ethnic group. I get attention just for being of a different race. It's really incredible. But it goes further than that.
Yes, very dark brown hair and brown eyes describes 98% of the people I see.
But school uniforms further erase personal lines. And almost every single school has them.
And what if I went on to say that these schools also require school haircuts for both boys and girls?
And every family name I've heard is one syllable, while the first names are two.
So how do you describe someone here without all the factors we take for granted? Well one of my students was trying to tell me about another and described her as the girl with small eyes.
I'm not gonna touch that one.
Either way, the culture is so far divorced from our belief that individuality is an ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY part of life, it still shocks me sometimes.
On a completely unrelated note, I did have a fun and enlightening experience with a class. I'd like to hear your thoughts on it because I may be losing perspective on the issue. When talking to one of my upper-level classes, I had them do a simulation where they decided how to run a government. Their top priorities?
1. Providing care for the elderly
2. A strong military
3. Medical and technological research.
Other options on the list included free hospitals, college grants to students, free k-12 public schools, and even sanitation services. Ever-interesting. I'm not sure I could pinpoint the answers an American school would give as to what the government should spend its money on, but I'm intrigued to hear your thoughts as to how we would rank it. I may have them play the lifeboat game next. THAT will be a challenging day.
I'd like to leave you with one more story, in the spirit of halloween. It's a korean ghost story that all the children down to nine years old knew. It goes something like this
A middle school is preparing for the end of the year, and the students in the classrooms are aware of the rankings- who is the number one student, who is second, who is third. On one of the last few days of the school year, the number two student invites the number one student up for a rooftop celebration of how much butt the two of them kicked on the school. Except the stakes are a little higher than that, you see. The number one student has a much more promising future because of the rank, and the number two knows this. And as they toast each other on the rooftop, 2 pushes 1 off the roof. The class is in mourning as the school year wraps up, and when the final exams are less than a week away, 2 is studying alone in the building late one night. It's storming outside (as outside is wont to do in these stories) and when number two looks out, and sees something strange silhouetted by a flash of lightning, this genre-unaware student pops over for a look. Peering out the window into the darkness, unable to see anything, the student is shocked when the lightning flashes again, showing the eyes of student 1 staring right back through the glass. Student 1 reaches through the window and grabs 2 by the throat, pulling both of them to a very poetic end.
The moral of this story could be one of either two things. It clearly shows how much pressure is on these students. When the children are pushed so hard every day to attend multiple schools and fight for their life in an ever-more-competetive school system, it breaks them, and costs them their childhood. It hurts somewhere inside my chest to see a 10-year-old leaving school at five oclock (her second school of the day) and I ask her if she's headed home now only to be be told that she is headed to another school. There's no doubt in my mind that the first lesson we can take from this story is a warning of the dangers of such a high-pressure school system.
The second lesson is always be student number 3.
'Til next time,
Jeff-Teacher
Korea is not exactly as diverse as America. It's hard to explain what it's like to walk down the streets of a major city and see only one ethnic group. I get attention just for being of a different race. It's really incredible. But it goes further than that.
Yes, very dark brown hair and brown eyes describes 98% of the people I see.
But school uniforms further erase personal lines. And almost every single school has them.
And what if I went on to say that these schools also require school haircuts for both boys and girls?
And every family name I've heard is one syllable, while the first names are two.
So how do you describe someone here without all the factors we take for granted? Well one of my students was trying to tell me about another and described her as the girl with small eyes.
I'm not gonna touch that one.
Either way, the culture is so far divorced from our belief that individuality is an ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY part of life, it still shocks me sometimes.
On a completely unrelated note, I did have a fun and enlightening experience with a class. I'd like to hear your thoughts on it because I may be losing perspective on the issue. When talking to one of my upper-level classes, I had them do a simulation where they decided how to run a government. Their top priorities?
1. Providing care for the elderly
2. A strong military
3. Medical and technological research.
Other options on the list included free hospitals, college grants to students, free k-12 public schools, and even sanitation services. Ever-interesting. I'm not sure I could pinpoint the answers an American school would give as to what the government should spend its money on, but I'm intrigued to hear your thoughts as to how we would rank it. I may have them play the lifeboat game next. THAT will be a challenging day.
I'd like to leave you with one more story, in the spirit of halloween. It's a korean ghost story that all the children down to nine years old knew. It goes something like this
A middle school is preparing for the end of the year, and the students in the classrooms are aware of the rankings- who is the number one student, who is second, who is third. On one of the last few days of the school year, the number two student invites the number one student up for a rooftop celebration of how much butt the two of them kicked on the school. Except the stakes are a little higher than that, you see. The number one student has a much more promising future because of the rank, and the number two knows this. And as they toast each other on the rooftop, 2 pushes 1 off the roof. The class is in mourning as the school year wraps up, and when the final exams are less than a week away, 2 is studying alone in the building late one night. It's storming outside (as outside is wont to do in these stories) and when number two looks out, and sees something strange silhouetted by a flash of lightning, this genre-unaware student pops over for a look. Peering out the window into the darkness, unable to see anything, the student is shocked when the lightning flashes again, showing the eyes of student 1 staring right back through the glass. Student 1 reaches through the window and grabs 2 by the throat, pulling both of them to a very poetic end.
The moral of this story could be one of either two things. It clearly shows how much pressure is on these students. When the children are pushed so hard every day to attend multiple schools and fight for their life in an ever-more-competetive school system, it breaks them, and costs them their childhood. It hurts somewhere inside my chest to see a 10-year-old leaving school at five oclock (her second school of the day) and I ask her if she's headed home now only to be be told that she is headed to another school. There's no doubt in my mind that the first lesson we can take from this story is a warning of the dangers of such a high-pressure school system.
The second lesson is always be student number 3.
'Til next time,
Jeff-Teacher
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Finding Heart-Strength
"Jeff! People die! Ground! You go! Not fear." That is the direction I was given by one of the teachers of Inha Elite taekwondo academy during saturday night's campout. But that wasn't til ten to midnight.
Let me backtrack.
I arrived at six p.m. in time for games and fun. The older students and staff were basically being counselors for the younger kids' games. They played everything from dodgeball to soccer to simon says to more carnival-style games, and we helped out and gave them opponents. This was incredibly helpful for my Korean, and by the end of the night, for the first time, I was putting together sentences with a subject, an adjective, and a verb. Now, I was obviously butchering the tenses and verb forms so thoroughly that I made the opening quote of this update look like Billy Shakespeare himself, but nevertheless, I was communicating.
I also met a university student who was the number one student at Inha (kyobumnim, is the title for top student, I think.) and learned that at his university, he was majoring in Tae Kwon Do. Whoah.
Traveller's Tip: Remember the traveller's tip about not picking fights with Koreans? Some of them literally have a degree in kicking your butt.
So after a few more games and watching videos of the K Tigers demonstration team (who I would encourage you all to look up on youtube) and having one of the ten year olds here point himself out in their championship video (again...whoah...) we all had dinner and settled in to watch How to Train your Dragon (Dragon Taming, in Korean). As the younger students dropped off to sleep and midnight approached, the older students put on our jackets and crept out to the van. I knew very little about what we would actually do when we got there. But the students whisperings about getting sick last time they tried, and the master's stories about the Kui-shin, a ghost or a vampire (I couldnt make out which) who had blood running from her eyes and her mouth certainly set the mood.
On the way, we grooved to the sugary K-Pop sounds of shiNEE and 2NE1 as we climbed the mountians.
We arrived at the tombs, shut off the van, and the world got quiet.
The weather had finally begun to cool, and the heavy mist that was settling on the mountains soaked through the students' jackets until they were huddling and shivering along the rocky trail. One of the younger ones pushed his way closer to me, until he could whisper up to my ear,
"Go there. Arrive. Nightmares."
The trail snaked over a foothill, and a valley opened up before us. A nearly-full moon stretched it's way through the gauze stretched between the ground and the sky, and in the half-light we could see something strange about the valley.
The ground didn't roll and flow in the unpredictable way that nature decorates, with mis-matched streams and trees and hills. Instead if was flat, and patterned like a quilt, with the stitches at even intervals spread across the open grass and up onto the hills beyond. Graves, I learned. Family tombs. Thousands of years worth of them. The Master looked at me.
"Jeff." he pointed to himself. "Grandmother. Sleeping. Here."
The younger students tittered nervously at his poetic choice of word approximation. They were scared, and wanted to make the walk ahead in groups of two or three.
"No." The master said definitively, "Solo go." He pointed to his heart. "Heart strength. give."
We came to a point where the wide trail stopped, and the tombs closed in around it until only one narrow path went ahead. The assistant teacher went first, to wait at the end of the path to ensure that everyone walked the entire length. I learned from the students that I was to go last. The students didn't envy the assistant teacher who would wait there alone. They didn't envy me, either.
As the students disappeared one by one down the path, I had time to look all around. I saw a light move through the graves far away. A car, one of the students whispered to me. Kui-shin car, the teacher whispered in his ear to make him jump. I never did hear an engine.
Some of the graves were newer, machine carved, their Hangul (Korean characters) names still shiny on the marble. Then I noticed the graves further up the mountain. Their brick tombs were crumbling. The names were certainly not laser-carved. And most striking of all, the characters were Chinese. I asked the Master if this was a Chinese area of the cemetary. He explained that many years ago, before they had their alphabet, the Korean people wrote in Chinese characters.
I did the research today. The Korean alphabet was devised in the fifteenth century. These graves could be six hundred years old. And the further I looked up the mountainsides into the fog, the more ruined the graves looked.
Hundreds of years.
Thousands of years.
This is a place that has seen the coming and going of writing systems. This is a history that extends not just through Administrations, but Dynasties.
Finally my turn came.
I set off down the path. a hill rose on my right, and a bank on my left as the path dropped into a ravine. The rocks underfoot gave way to a powdery sand that silenced my footsteps until all I could hear in the fog was my own breathing, and all I could see were the solitary row of tombs on my right that got older as I went further down. The air got colder and quieter as I marveled at how many generations must have visited this place to mourn their ancestors, and then been mourned by their decendents in their own turn. I traced family names up the hillsides until I could no longer see the grave markers. When the assistant teacher finally stepped out to tell me I'd made it, I jumped.
I spun to face him, guard up to protect myself.
"oh, no no, boxing no". He laughed as he marked one of my raised fists, proof of my completion and instructed me to hurry back.
As we left the graves, I hung back for a moment and noticed the Master gesturing backward. When I asked, he smiled and asked me to join him in waving to his grandmother who slept here.
An-nyeong-hi ke-se-yo.
Stay in peace.
Jeff-Teacher
Let me backtrack.
I arrived at six p.m. in time for games and fun. The older students and staff were basically being counselors for the younger kids' games. They played everything from dodgeball to soccer to simon says to more carnival-style games, and we helped out and gave them opponents. This was incredibly helpful for my Korean, and by the end of the night, for the first time, I was putting together sentences with a subject, an adjective, and a verb. Now, I was obviously butchering the tenses and verb forms so thoroughly that I made the opening quote of this update look like Billy Shakespeare himself, but nevertheless, I was communicating.
I also met a university student who was the number one student at Inha (kyobumnim, is the title for top student, I think.) and learned that at his university, he was majoring in Tae Kwon Do. Whoah.
Traveller's Tip: Remember the traveller's tip about not picking fights with Koreans? Some of them literally have a degree in kicking your butt.
So after a few more games and watching videos of the K Tigers demonstration team (who I would encourage you all to look up on youtube) and having one of the ten year olds here point himself out in their championship video (again...whoah...) we all had dinner and settled in to watch How to Train your Dragon (Dragon Taming, in Korean). As the younger students dropped off to sleep and midnight approached, the older students put on our jackets and crept out to the van. I knew very little about what we would actually do when we got there. But the students whisperings about getting sick last time they tried, and the master's stories about the Kui-shin, a ghost or a vampire (I couldnt make out which) who had blood running from her eyes and her mouth certainly set the mood.
On the way, we grooved to the sugary K-Pop sounds of shiNEE and 2NE1 as we climbed the mountians.
We arrived at the tombs, shut off the van, and the world got quiet.
The weather had finally begun to cool, and the heavy mist that was settling on the mountains soaked through the students' jackets until they were huddling and shivering along the rocky trail. One of the younger ones pushed his way closer to me, until he could whisper up to my ear,
"Go there. Arrive. Nightmares."
The trail snaked over a foothill, and a valley opened up before us. A nearly-full moon stretched it's way through the gauze stretched between the ground and the sky, and in the half-light we could see something strange about the valley.
The ground didn't roll and flow in the unpredictable way that nature decorates, with mis-matched streams and trees and hills. Instead if was flat, and patterned like a quilt, with the stitches at even intervals spread across the open grass and up onto the hills beyond. Graves, I learned. Family tombs. Thousands of years worth of them. The Master looked at me.
"Jeff." he pointed to himself. "Grandmother. Sleeping. Here."
The younger students tittered nervously at his poetic choice of word approximation. They were scared, and wanted to make the walk ahead in groups of two or three.
"No." The master said definitively, "Solo go." He pointed to his heart. "Heart strength. give."
We came to a point where the wide trail stopped, and the tombs closed in around it until only one narrow path went ahead. The assistant teacher went first, to wait at the end of the path to ensure that everyone walked the entire length. I learned from the students that I was to go last. The students didn't envy the assistant teacher who would wait there alone. They didn't envy me, either.
As the students disappeared one by one down the path, I had time to look all around. I saw a light move through the graves far away. A car, one of the students whispered to me. Kui-shin car, the teacher whispered in his ear to make him jump. I never did hear an engine.
Some of the graves were newer, machine carved, their Hangul (Korean characters) names still shiny on the marble. Then I noticed the graves further up the mountain. Their brick tombs were crumbling. The names were certainly not laser-carved. And most striking of all, the characters were Chinese. I asked the Master if this was a Chinese area of the cemetary. He explained that many years ago, before they had their alphabet, the Korean people wrote in Chinese characters.
I did the research today. The Korean alphabet was devised in the fifteenth century. These graves could be six hundred years old. And the further I looked up the mountainsides into the fog, the more ruined the graves looked.
Hundreds of years.
Thousands of years.
This is a place that has seen the coming and going of writing systems. This is a history that extends not just through Administrations, but Dynasties.
Finally my turn came.
I set off down the path. a hill rose on my right, and a bank on my left as the path dropped into a ravine. The rocks underfoot gave way to a powdery sand that silenced my footsteps until all I could hear in the fog was my own breathing, and all I could see were the solitary row of tombs on my right that got older as I went further down. The air got colder and quieter as I marveled at how many generations must have visited this place to mourn their ancestors, and then been mourned by their decendents in their own turn. I traced family names up the hillsides until I could no longer see the grave markers. When the assistant teacher finally stepped out to tell me I'd made it, I jumped.
I spun to face him, guard up to protect myself.
"oh, no no, boxing no". He laughed as he marked one of my raised fists, proof of my completion and instructed me to hurry back.
As we left the graves, I hung back for a moment and noticed the Master gesturing backward. When I asked, he smiled and asked me to join him in waving to his grandmother who slept here.
An-nyeong-hi ke-se-yo.
Stay in peace.
Jeff-Teacher
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A place of rest and harmony, nestled amid nightmare fuel
So let me begin by saying that this week wasn't as nightmarish as it COULD have been. But it certainly got the job done. Friday was the day of the kindergarten field trip. Fun, yes, but resulting in a twelve-hour workday for me. We went to the botanical gardens.
Yay!
We saw flowers and ladybugs.
Yay!
We all had Kimbap for lunch.
YAY!
There were hordes of bees and exotic-looking giant green spiders roaming wild through the garden with the children.
...wait.
We watched a movie about prehistoric times with underground blind toothy twin-tongued worms.
...hold on...
In 3D
HOLD ON! Did they KNOW who was watching this? There was definitely some traumatizing happening here! And the children might've been traumatized too!
*shudders* anyway, after the horrors of the botanical gardens, it was an early bedtime night, because nine a.m. the next day would find me at the train station, waiting for another trip with last post's guide.
Destination: Ganghwa Island
Ganghwa Island is relatively close to the shore of Incheon, and has been used for centuries by the Korean people as an outpost against invasions. Because seriously EVERYone has tried to invade Korea.
The Island
The first thing we saw upon entering the island was a 1600s fortress. It was built largely to protect against Japanese invaders who found the western side of Korea provided better access than the closer eastern side. Put in those terms, you kinda have to give the Japanese credit for being really really good at the whole invasion thing. Of course, Europeans would eventually give them a run for their money...
The fort itself consisted of little more than a circular wall with cannon ports built in. The fortress was constructed on a point overlooking the channel between the mainland and the island.
Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention. Look out at the water where the enemies of Korea sailed. Now back to my writing. The enemies have become Americans. That's right.
A History Lesson
In the 1870s, when America was going all Manifest Destiny on the world with awesome shiny guns, we eventually made our way to the East (and I'm sure someone dubbed the Chinese they met "Indians"). American Sailors who landed on the shores of Japan were promptly murdered because of Japan's No Foreigners policy. Well, needless to say, the US government stepped in and Japanese men were wearing business suits and engineering our technology better than we could within a century. Anyway, when the US found out that a similar Closed policy was in place in Korea, battle ensued, as battle is wont to do in history lessons. Three US ships attacked...you guessed it...THIS FORT. The Korean defenders were quickly overwhelmed. My guide was understandably embarassed to translate some of the plaques and inscriptions at this site. But he called in (in a stunning display of understanding the nuances of English) a "happy historical accident" because of the success brought to Korea by its new open-door policy.
This site is the memorial and graves for the fifty-three soldiers killed by the American invasion. Just goes to show you-- even a good relationship between countries is probably complicated.
Who remembers that England burned D.C. to the ground? NOT DURING THE REVOLUTION?
Complicated.
Beautiful eaves on the fortress. But you know what lives under eaves? Wasps. Know what lives under Giant Asian Eaves? Giant Asian Hornets. For those of you who aren't squeamish about bees, look Here
They're very real. And very dangerous. And I had very nightmares about them the very next night.
The Temple
For a change of pace, we then journeyed to a buddhist temple on the edge of a mountain. From the snapping flags, blazing sun, and rushing wind of the seaside fortresses, it was a definite change of pace to the murmuring waters, rustling trees, and quieter landscapes.
Have you ever met a country so polite that the trees bowed to you? For most of this segment, by the way, I'm going to let the pictures speak for themselves and recap at the end.
The Gates
Terraced levels and Tea rooms
Mountain stream water flowing directly out of a rock has refreshed these monks for centuries
This bell was forged in China 1000 years ago. Think about that. Centuries are insufficient to measure its age
The Medicine buddha enshrined at the highest temple.
If you look just inside the 400-year old wooden doors, you'll see the hidden temple guardian, ready to fight off any who enter with the wrong motives. Korea metaphor number two?
View.
The experience was a really amazing one. It was a "this is my life" moment. One where I had to realize that I was living this, not watching a movie with hidden Island temples. Because in that movie there would DEFINITELY be more martial arts. But that will be next weekend.
A Few Final Curiosities
This is Insam (Ginseng, as the Chinese- and by extension the world- would have it). The Chinese characters supposedly mean "man plant". I can see it. But I have a hard time not thinking about Pan's Labyrinth when I see the sickly, pale, moist limbs of this thing. On the positive side, though, according to Koreans, Insam cures many diseases, from the common cold to cancer. as does kimchi. as does massage...
And just for kicks, an open air market selling pumpkins. Almost like home this time of year. But in Iowa the pumpkins aren't next to the salted seaweed.
The CORN is next to the salted seaweed.
I'll keep you updated as often as I can.
Always Exploring,
Jeff-Teacher
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)