14 Hours and a World: Jeff M. Davis has the Most Important Job in the World

Teaching!
Aw that's cute.
But seriously. I've been promoted.
I am now.....
Santa's Speechwriter.
You heard it here first, unless you saw the wikileaks about it. And if you did, disregard the one about his beard being fake. He's the real thing, and he's coming to CNN Language Academy! For some reason (I'm assuming it's my speech background) I've been chosen to write the introductions and greetings for the symbol of Americanism in the Wintertime. I am, of course, assuming I was chosen because I was better qualified, and not because of where I'm from.
Because that's racist. And 14hoursandaworld does not support racism.
But the pressure! Can you imagine?
Rooms stuffed to the brim with tinsel, christmas trees, advent calendars, and construction paper reindeer peeling off the walls from run-ins with soccer balls. Classrooms that look like they were hit with Polarbear Coca Cola commercials full of gluesticks and glitter wait expectantly for a man they've only heard stories
nay
Legends about. A man of whose existence they're skeptical.
They want to believe. Can it be true? A fat white guy with a beard gives stuff to the whole world for free, with an archaic delivery service? That's a poor business model for a number of reasons my three-year-olds could diagram on the board.
When he arrives, he'll introduce himself and his present procedure to all the awestruck and wide-eyed boys and girls. And though out on the lawn, Korea is having a brown Christmas, all through the house they will come to the conclusion that so many little American children came to before:
Santa. Is. Real.
And he is the best thing EVER.

Stories of the week!
As you all know, if your lives center around me (as I'm sure they do), this week I officially hit the age where one is not likeable, (182, Blink). Having a birthday the week of Christmas has its disadvantages, as this weekend will be dedicated to christmas celebration, so I was expecting a low-key birthday. When out of left field, an army of awesome people spoke out and said Forbid It! Your birthday will rock!
My kindergarten co-teachers informed the children, who greeted me with a chorus of Happy Birthday and a book of cards they had made (some with STUNNING art skills for five year olds). My other coworkers surprised me with a small gift of cash and something delicious.

It is not a lie.

Also, though I didn't check the mail for them soon enough, I recieved THREE packages of presents from the states. And I'd like to thank everyone from home who has equipped me to survive, thrive, travel, and have great snacks while I play video games. Also (and I'm totally gonna attribute this to my birthday) The South Korean army AGAIN held live-fire drills on Yeonpyeong island, after the North told them that such actions would awaken a much more powerful Northern retaliation. The North uncovered their coastal guns and rolled them into place as the South set up for its training. The training began. The South shot off every round they had not fired in the truncated drills last time on Yeonpyeong. The North backed down. Happy birthday to me, commies.

I'm also enrolled in a language exchange now. Expect pictures of the place soon. It's a wonderful little coffee shop designed specifically for English, Chinese, and Korean speakers to be able to have a place to teach each other their languages free of charge. They have game nights, ski trips, holiday parties, the works. The program director suggests I watch korean dramas repeatedly to learn the language. He learned most of his English from watching friends. And suddenly his gelled-up hairdo made much more sense.

One more, then I'll let you go, for real this time. I did a Lifeboat Game with my conversation class, where they are given six people of different backgrounds and skillsets on a sinking ship with a lifeboat that can hold two. Among them were a russian sailor, a japanese computer programmer, an american congressman, a happily married scientist, and a husband and pregnant wife. After a long debate, they saved the sailor (because someone had to get the lifeboat to shore. very practical of them) and the pregnant wife. It's worth noting that she was 23 and her husband was almost sixty. They said the young sailor man and the mother-to-be would fall in love and get married and have many more children, and forget about the husband who went down with the ship. I think they'd been watching too many dramas. The one thing they did agree on unanimously? The fate of that poor, poor Japanese programmer.

And this is not related, but you can eat pokemon for snacks. The ghastly snack has a chocolate cream center surrounded by cakey chocolate, all in a circle. I thought it was awesome. But I'm probably biased from a childhood spent engrossed in Pokemon Red for gameboy. I guess you could say my evaluation of this snack. . .

(Puts on sunglasses)

It's Super-Subjective!