I got my old wallet and BOUGHT CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
I lost my health.
I went to Taekwondo and ROUNDHOUSE KICKED MY ILLNESS.
I lost my computer.
My wonderful parents bought me a late graduation present with a FINGERPRINT SCAN PASSWORD.
Everytime I unlock my computer, I can hear it saying "Welcome back, Mr. Bond. Would you like to resume being awesome where you left off?"
As a wise internet once said, "Life getting tough means the gods fear your progress."
And whatever gods reign in Korea must've feared my progress quite a bit. But you see, all they had were misfortunes, and the hope that when all those misfortunes were expended, I'd no longer be standing on Korean soil.
It's great to be here tonight, folks.
On this wednesday, the entire nation is to perform an air-raid drill, with underground bomb shelters and an airforce simulation of a DPRK airstrike. Life in a bomb bunker. Remember my WWI references earlier? I have a feeling they're about to get trumped.
In the case of an actual breakout of war here, some of the teachers have packed emergency bags. I tried to compile a list of what I would need. I might've been playing Playstation while I did it.
1. Warm, durable clothes
2. Dried food
3. Boots
4. Waterproof mats/space blankets
5. A self-defense weapon like a baton
6. A flashlight
7. A large overcoat, with a brightly colored side to signal for help.
8. A self-defense weapon like a knife
9. An assortment of money, non-korean (Dollars, yuan, pounds sterling, gil, yen, euros etc.)
10. A first-aid kit with an assortment of bandages and recovery items
11. A self defense weapon like a sword made out of guns and fire
12. Socks
I should be pretty well taken care of with that. I think I could find around four others to travel with me, to make it South and book passage on a ship to Japan. Although at some point we'll just get our own ship and can travel anywhere in the world, so I'm kinda looking for ward to that too.
And as is always the case with this country, tensions escalate, politicians brawl in the legislature (gavels and chairs thrown, physical takeovers, ambulances called etc) and yet.....life goes on.
In one of my classes the other day, two out of four students were gone because their middle school exams were the next week and they had to begin studying. The other two students were falling asleep. When I told them they couldnt sleep in my class, they informed me that they'd been up until four in the morning studying, before getting up at seven to head in to school. Then they fell asleep, leaving me and my conscience alone in the room. The following internal dialogue ensued.
Me: Wow, this is really not cool. I have to wake them up or I'll get in trouble for having no control.
Conscience: Were you not listening to the conversation you just had? three hours of sleep. hana, dul, set.
Me: OH MY GOD........YOU CAN TALK!
Conscience: Yeah, I kinda bailed on you after the jello incident freshman year
Me: Right, right, good times. Yeah those nuns totally deserved it.
Conscience: Let's not talk about it.
Me: ok, time to wake them up.
Conscience: You do realize that it's not just about you, right? they have homework from their actual school too. Then after they finish your school at ten o'clock, they go to another hagwon til one in the morning. Then they start their homework. Then it's up for another day of it for school. Plus every other saturday.
Me: yeah, but if I don't do it, their parents will find a teacher who will. As will my boss. That second one may concern me more.
Conscience: yeah, that's the problem. It's just so competitive here that no one's really the bad guy. Teachers just need teaching jobs. Hagwon owners are just trying to deliver quality education in a market that's buying as much of it as people will sell. Parents know that if they don't keep their kids in school as late as their classmates, their students lives will suffer later. It seems like the only way to fix this is with a law banning any facility teaching out of a textbook after, say three o'clock in the....Are you even listening?
Me; I've got it! Let's wake them up. Who wants to play Uno?
And play uno we did, in english. With the sentence structures required of that days lesson (I have one blue two. I have number adjective noun). Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing. But every now and then there's an obvious right answer.
So remember ages ago when I promised Light-bridge pictures? Don't say I never did nothin for ya.
Back in business, and ain't it grand?
Jeff-Teacher
Good to have you back, Mr. Bond.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to like the paragraph after the list of supplies, but that feature doesn't exist. instead i wrote a letter to blogspot.com suggesting that the economic ramifications of including such a feature would serve to ameliorate their current economic woes. No word.
ReplyDeleteI want you to tell your students to suck it up. When I was in school we got up at nearly 7 everyday to go to school, where we were dragged out of our classrooms intermittently and thrown into the elements where we learned to survive amongst a jungle of steel, wood and concrete. Plastic? PLASTIC?! That was cutting edge my friend. Once 3 O'clock rolled around we had to fend for ourselves. we didn't have teachers to tell us how to play our video games and build our forts, and if we weren't able to figure it out on our own WE DIDN'T DO IT. sleep? no. 3 to 4 hours is called sleep. our parents read us into an abbreviated coma until we started the whole terrifying process over again.
Let that be a lesson to these spoiled Koreans.