Evening News

Aaaand you're watching 14HoursAndAWorld- once again 14 Hours away from my native home.  Here... are tonight's top stories!
Jeans!  Are you really getting what you think you're getting?
And, your opportunity to be a part of the 14 Hours and a World experience-
Can you write?  This station needs your help!

Tonight's top story is jeans.  You've seen them everywhere: on the fashion conscious youth, on cowboys in the movies, smuggled into the Soviet Union at impossible prices, jeans are an indespensably American mark on the world.  Everyone has their favorite pair, you probably know your size and the fit you like by heart- But what if the jeans you bought simply didn't match up?
To find our answer, we sent our one reporter to the crowded shopping centers of Korea in an attempt to find a pair of jeans that fit his taste.  Jeff?

Thanks Jeff.  I'm here buying a pair of jeans, and let me tell you, it's not the easy, laid back experience it is at American Eagle in Coralville, Iowa.  As you can see, the crowd is packed in, jostling around me.  The store itself is not much bigger than most people's bedrooms...and that's just how the Koreans like it.  With space at a premium in this country, you rarely find a store the size of an American store.  So we have to do without luxuries like room or dressing rooms.  In a rare few stores, there will be a curtain in one corner that can hide the changer.  But in many, like this store, it's not an option.  So all I've got to go on are my size and fit preferences...And even those won't be what I'm expecting.  Having never bought clothes in metric sizes, its very confusing to see a size 74 jean or a shoe in 835- but that's not the end of it. 
     You see, in America, we like our jeans to fit loose, straight leg, slim, or skinny.  And if you look on the shelf behind me, you'll see those same labels.  Unfortunately for unsuspecting americans, buying a loose fit jean here will get you a US-slim.  Buying straight leg will get you skinny.  Slim fit here is often skinnier than american skinny jeans.  As for korean skinny fit- I would only advise them for olympic swimmers or super heroes.  Jeff?

Thanks, Jeff.  Tonight's broadcast needs help from the viewers!  Our field correspondent has the story.

Jeff here, as you know if you've been following my recent reality martial arts series Ninja Strike Death Power Warrior, I'm participating in Korea's cultural martial arts both traditional and modern with the goal of facing a champion of each art after my shortened period of training.  In colloquial english, someone who engages in such an activity is known as a Badass.  Tvtropes defines this term:

A character who gets away with outright insane stunts (defusing a bomb with their teeth, conning a mob boss, getting into a firefight with the entire army, etc.) that would be VERY hard to pull off in real life. A Badass is a fantasy figure whom the audience roots for precisely because they break or stretch the Willing Suspension Of Disbelief.

                                                 - Tvtropes on Badass

On a related topic, this authority specifies that such a character will often have a creed which specifies how and why they go about their business. The president has the Oath of Office, Green Lantern has a creed (“in brightest day...”) Police have Serve and Protect, the Gunslingers have their own (“I do not aim with my hand...”), Doctors have their own oath (that whole “do no harm” thing)...the list goes on and on.

The challenge to everyone out there tonight is this: If I am to join these coveted ranks, I should have a creed to go along with it. Where to begin? Truth, Justice and perfectly styled hair? Neither rain, nor snow, nor kimchi...? The answer is in your hands. Selected entries will be featured in an upcoming edition of Ninja Strike Death Power Warrior. Many will enter, few will win. Please leave entries in the Comments section.

 On a more serious note, to everyone who is worried- no there's no dangerous radiation here yet.   We're all very worried about Japan though. The whole world is waiting (or should be) to see the fate of the nuclear-threatened nation. The death toll rises daily, refugees are without heat, please don't forget what has happened. Even Koreans, many of whom bear a hatred toward Japan that most westerners can't fathom, were among the first to arrive to aid in the rescue, cleanup, and reconstruction efforts. Please don't think of this only in terms of what beef or yoghurt you shouldn't buy. I would ask only that you make yourself aware of what actually occurred in the tragedy and its aftermath. If that motivates you to give any kind of aid, it will be appreciated by a nation in need.
If anyone remembers Requiem Gilkyson from chamber choir years ago, it's definitely in the forefront of my mind again.

mother mary, full of grace, awaken
all our homes are gone, our loved ones taken
taken by the sea
mother mary, calm our fears, have mercy
drowning in a sea of tears, have mercy
hear our mournful plea
our world has been shaken,
we wander our homelands forsaken
in the dark night of the soul
bring some comfort to us all,
o mother mary come and carry us in your embrace
that our sorrows may be faced
mary, fill the glass to overflowing
illuminate the path where we are going
have mercy on us all
in fun'ral fires burning
each flame to your myst'ry returning
in the dark night of the soul
your shattered dreamers, make them whole,
o mother mary find us where we've fallen out of grace,
lead us to a higher place
in the dark night of the soul
our broken hearts you can make whole,
o mother mary come and carry us in your embrace,
let us see your gentle face, mary
                                                        -Eliza Gilkyson

Til next time,
Jeff-Teacher